Modern Day Pen Pals

When I was a kid, I loved having a pen pal. I had one through my Brownie troop, a couple through school, and periodically a family member pen pal. There was something so exciting about getting a letter in the mail and learning a little bit about another person, as well as sharing something about myself with them. I don’t hear much about pen pals these days. My kids didn’t seem to have any through school and now that they are young adults, their most common form of communication is texting.

It’s easy for many of us to think that texting is overdone and not a good form of communication. Yet is it that different from having a pen pal? Can’t we learn things about each other from digital communication just as easily as we did through snail mail communication? Some of the best conversations I have these days are with my girlfriends in group chats or my family through the “fam” group chat. We discuss politics, hot topics, pop culture, etc.

My favorite version of modern day pen pals may be the periodic responses to my weekly blog. Sometimes it’s just a quick note saying, “I loved this!” but often it’s a more intimate response in which someone shares with me a struggle they are having or how my blog resonated with them. Recently, a high school friend responded to my blog in order to disagree with something that I had written. She did so with kindness and respect. We ended the written conversation with a bit more understanding of each other and are still friends.

One pen pal friend often sends me words of encouragement and affirmations through e-mails. Her responses are always thoughtful and relatable. Another friend has had a very difficult time with medical issues and her emails are incredibly vulnerable and moving. I learn something about these wonderful pen pals each time they write to me. There is an undeniable connection and camaraderie in these emails, no less so than in my old snail mail pen pal days.

People often bemoan technology and I also have my moments of frustration, yet are we so very sure that technology is keeping us apart? What if we use it as a way to learn, grow, and connect with others? What if modern day pen pals are actually just pen pals, but with quicker delivery times? Yes, we live in a screen focused world, but that doesn’t mean we can’t use the screen to make the world a better place.

Love,

Lisa Kaplin Psy. D. PCC