Faith and Acceptance

I often find that the same issues come up for all of my clients at the same time. Interestingly enough, when that happens there are always lessons for me as well. One week, it seemed that most of my clients were really anxious about upcoming events. The theme of the week was, “What if I can’t handle that?” They were struggling with things they had no control over and were worrying about their own response to these situations. This is an issue I struggle with quite a bit.

My question for my clients that week was, “How much faith do you have in yourself?” It’s a big question in that many of us don’t have much faith. We say things such as, “I could never handle it if that happened.” Or, “I’m just not strong enough to deal with that.” Yet how true are those worries? My clients have handled 100% of what has happened to them to date. They will handle anything else that comes their way. They always do.

More time is spent on worrying about their ability to handle things than actually handling them when they happen. There’s also a lot of time spent on trying to avoid, ignore, or change the unchangeable. What were the two things that my clients needed more of that week? Faith in themselves and acceptance of the unchangeable. Two biggies that are awfully hard to come by. So as one of my clients asked, “Can I get those at Nordstrom?”

Nordstrom is full service, but I’m pretty sure that even they don’t sell faith and acceptance. Nope. We have to learn those on our own. But maybe we are like Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz who always had the ability to get home. She just had to see it for herself. Maybe faith and acceptance are just waiting for us to invite them out so they can help us manage the crappy stuff that periodically heads our way.

Resolving to Have More Faith and Acceptance in the New Year

What would it take to really believe in yourself and your ability to handle everything that comes your way? I have a mantra that helps me: “I’ll figure it out. I always do.” Sometimes I don’t believe my mantra, but I say it anyway and ultimately I live it. Acceptance has been a tad bit harder for me in that I still haven’t fully accepted that I’m not Cindy Crawford’s identical twin sister and my husband doesn’t love to cook. That’s my reality and I either have to accept those realities or be miserable. I’m not going to change that reality, so why make myself unhappy about it?

So maybe consider adding faith and acceptance to your New Year’s Resolution list. Faith in yourself and acceptance of what is will make you happier than a lot of the other things we try to change over the year. Try it and see how you feel. I take my faith and acceptance with a nice glass of champagne as I ring in the New Year.

Love,

Lisa Kaplin Psy. D. PCC