Why Do Bad Things Happen To Me?

Many clients ask me this question, “Why do bad things happen to me?” It’s an understandable question in that often there are difficult challenges occurring in their lives, sometimes even tragic situations. Yet let’s take a look at this question and why it might be part of the problem or keeping us from solving the problem. Do bad things happen to us or do they just happen? Quick answer, they just happen. Bad things happen and not just to you, but rather in life. When we decide to label these situations as personal to us, it feels like a personal attack versus a relatively normal, albeit negative event.

Why personalize something that isn’t personal? Why make a tough situation even tougher? When our mindset is focused on the supposed black cloud over our head, then we can only focus on the black cloud. What if instead we thought, “This situation sucks. What do I need to do to manage it or improve it?” The black cloud response makes us feel like a helpless victim versus the second response, which leads us to acknowledging our negative feelings while also owning our power to change things.

Do bad things happen to us or do they just happen? Quick answer, they just happen. #negativity #hardship #perspective Click To Tweet

Sometimes you may not be able to change a situation, but you are able to change how you view that situation. I’m not suggesting a “turn that frown upside down” mindset, but rather a “How can I view this situation in a way that empowers me or allows me to address it in a healthy way?” Looking at anything from a “Why me?” perspective is an understandable first response, but probably not a productive one for the long haul. If, for example, you received a devastating medical diagnosis, that would be a reasonable first response. But ultimately, action is in order. We need a different mindset to take action.

So check in with yourself and take notice when you are making yourself the victim of your own story. Then ask yourself how that is helping you to improve your situation. Bad things aren’t happening to you, but rather just happening. You get to decide how to respond to them. That decision can mean all the difference in the world.

Love,

Lisa Kaplin Psy. D. PCC

Don’t Let Stress Control Your Life

Stress is literally killing us. It is physically debilitating, emotionally exhausting, and a true relationship destroyer. Much of the common stress reduction advice is superficial and at best a Band-Aid. Lisa’s tried and true approach to permanent stress reduction has changed many of her client’s lives. She teaches you the exact steps you need to take to reduce stress for good regardless of the chaos around you.

• When you know how to reduce the stress in your life and your reaction to it, you will be filled with happiness and relief.
• You will no longer fear stressful situations or how you will feel when you confront them.
• Without all of that stress your relationships will improve, you will be more productive, and filled with amazing energy.