Owning Our Voice In The Face of Disapproval

I’m writing this blog a few weeks prior to the presidential election. I try not to spend too much time talking about politics in my newsletters because it is dangerous territory for most of us in that it’s often so divisive and filled with cruel comments and rhetoric. If you know me personally, you know where I stand in this election; I’m with her. I’m confident in my selection in that I have done a great deal of research and homework on the candidates. Being informed gives me strength in both my decision-making and in using my voice to speak up for others and myself.

An interesting thing happened recently when I posted a political article on Facebook. I received an email from someone on my email list asking to be removed from my mailings and telling me to, “Keep my political views to myself.” I responded back with one of my favorite sentences, “No.” Yet inside I felt scared and shaky because like many women, I’m often afraid to speak my mind and even more afraid of someone’s disapproval. Wanting to be liked is a burden that I’ve carried most of my life and it is a powerful force when I think that someone (even a stranger) is unhappy with me.

Learning to Raise Our Voices

Voicing our opinion as women has almost always been fraught with fear and tension in that most of us were raised to be “good girls” and not cause trouble. Stepping into the landmine of politics is risky business because many people are likely to disagree with us and may even not like us because of our opinions. My stomach knots up even thinking about someone else’s disapproval of me. It’s a scary place for me and I’m confident that I’m not alone in that.

Yet how much more painful would life be if we never did speak up for our politics, our favorite candidates, or ourselves? How often do we wish we had asked for what we wanted or given our opinion on a variety of topics? When will it be our time to speak up, to end sexism, to make our world more equitable for all of us? My time is now. Right now. I can’t be afraid of disapproval anymore. If someone doesn’t like me due to my political views then they probably weren’t much of a friend anyway.

But more importantly, if someone doesn’t want to be in my personal or professional life because I spoke up, they don’t belong in my life at all. This is a line that has to be drawn for me. Silencing women in any way will never be okay. We need to achieve equality and representation in every major area in our country: government, medicine, law, the arts, etc. Until women are equally represented, our voices will not be heard and our needs will not be adequately addressed.

So please, please join me in making your voice heard. Vote. Speak up. Volunteer. Educate yourself and others. Do it for yourself and every other woman in your life. Now is the time for us to rise up, demand equality, representation, and a voice in every area of our lives and the lives of women worldwide. Don’t let the fear of not being liked stop you from being the powerful woman that you are meant to be. No one is worth that.

Love,

Lisa Kaplin Psy. D. PCC