Five years ago this month, I completed a life coach training program and I started my own business. It seems like the perfect time to do a review of the last five years of my life. Here’s the short version: Nothing has changed. I’m kind of serious. I live in the same house, I have the same husband, same three children, same dog, and I’ve had the same job. It all sounds like a pretty boring five years, doesn’t it?
Yet in reality, everything has changed because I have changed. My hair color, my weight or almost anything that’s visible to people from observing me hasn’t changed. I have, however, given up most versions of guilt. I’ve given up being bothered by what others think of me unless I’ve hurt them in some way. I have found incredible peace in both accepting myself and those around me. I am truly a new woman.
My Path to Happiness
No longer do I worry that someone will judge me when my home is dirty. That’s their problem, not mine. I don’t concern myself with my children’s grades, success, or decisions. They are capable of handling all of that on their own. When they want my input, they ask and I give it. I’ve finished high school and college, so there is no need for me to go through either again with my children. That is their road to take.
I no longer expect my husband to “make” me happy. My own happiness is 100% my own responsibility. If I want something from him, I’m free to ask. I know that if I don’t ask, I’m unlikely to receive because my husband can’t read my mind. Shocking, right? If my husband is upset, I can be supportive but I now know that I can’t fix it and that’s okay.
“No” has become a favorite word of mine. I use it to nicely turn down invitations that may be wonderful, but don’t fit into the balance of my life. I actually say no without excuse and without feeling guilty. Sometimes I’m disappointed that I must say no, but I still refuse to feel guilty because of it.
Five years has brought me well into mid-life, which is wonderful because the alternative isn’t. Wrinkles work well on me and I wear them with pride. Aging is what happens when we are lucky enough to still be here and I’m grateful for every moment that I’m given on this earth. Do I wish I’d found this wisdom earlier than five years ago? Kind of, but maybe not in that I wouldn’t have learned all of the lessons that I needed to learn to appreciate this very moment.
Aging is what happens when we are lucky enough to still be here & I’m grateful for every moment. #gratitude Click To TweetI’m excited beyond words for the next five years in that I’m a wisdom-seeking machine. These last five years have also been the most profound in the opportunity to help others who have trusted me with their story and with their desire to live a fully engaged and joyful life. My growth was often due to these amazing people who taught me lessons that I wasn’t even aware that I needed.
It wouldn’t be a blog if I didn’t throw in a bit of advice, would it? Don’t wait! Don’t wait to be happy, fulfilled, and joyful. Do it right now. Find your own wisdom and make your next five years beautiful beyond words. Let me know if I can help.
Love,
Lisa Kaplin Psy. D. PCC