Clients and friends tell me all the time about things that go awry in their lives and those moments in which everything seems to be going wrong. I ask them what they do in those moments and their answers vary, but more often than not they tell me that they just keep going. They run errands for their family, they take care of something at work, and essentially avoid their own concern.

I get it. I used to do the same thing. I would push on, not take a break, not take care of myself, and ultimately, I felt like crap both physically and emotionally. I was physically drained and emotionally miserable. Like many women, I was last on my own list and it showed. I wasn’t the person that I wanted to be and I certainly wasn’t living a happy, fulfilled life.

Stop what you are doing and sit down (or lay down)!

So I changed. Not just like that, but I did it with determination and planning. Here’s what I know that you should do when everything seems to be falling apart; You should stop! You should stop what you are doing and sit down (or lay down) somewhere for a few minutes. Center yourself by calming and slowing both your breathing and your thoughts. Say to yourself, “All is well. All is well. All is well.” over and over again until your mind slows down.

From that point of view, I then want you to ask yourself this ONE important question; “What do I need to do right this minute in order to take care of myself?” Read it again out loud. “What do I need to do right this minute in order to take care of myself?” Do you need to lie down for a few minutes? Take a walk? Call a friend? Have a glass of water? Eat something? What do you need to do to take care of yourself?

Once you do that, you will see that the problems in front of you aren’t as overwhelming as you once thought. You won’t be sticking your head in the sand, but rather, facing whatever comes your way with the most strength you can muster. When we don’t put ourselves first in these situations, we actually weaken ourselves and thus have a harder time taking on a big and difficult task.

Stop, Center, and Self Care!

Do you remember, “Stop, drop, and roll” regarding fire safety? Well here’s a new one for overwhelmed and exhausted women, “Stop, Center, and Self Care!” That’s how you will put out fires, solve problems, and stay healthy and sane in the process. It’s going to be hard to do at first because you aren’t in the habit of doing so, but if you practice it will become second nature to you. Once you are in the habit of stop, center, self-care, you will quickly see the benefits. Let me know how you do.

Next week on 9/26 is Mesothelioma Awareness Day.  Many people are not aware of this devastating form of cancer.  Here is a link from my friend, Heather Von St. James, with more information on diagnosis and treatment.  Heather is a 10 year survivor.  http://www.mesothelioma.com/mesothelioma/

Love,

Lisa Kaplin Psy. D. PCC