As a female business owner, I am involved in some wonderful networking groups, both in person and online. I love the camaraderie of the groups, the connection, and most especially, the excellent advice and support. However, I have noticed an interesting phenomenon in most of these groups and it’s the push to not self promote. I’m assuming the rule is in place because some might spend too much time and space self-promoting, yet the message seems even deeper than that.
I’ve been to co-ed networking, and not only is self promotions suggested, it is expected. How can someone share your services if they don’t know what you do? How can they know if you’d be a good fit if you can’t tell them about your business? And where do we draw the line between obnoxiously selling and reasonable self-promotion?
I see women in business very hesitant to self promote in any way.
I’m not sure if I know the answers to these questions, but I do know that I see women in business very hesitant to self promote in any way. Whereas I hear men say, “I run a & b team”, I hear women say, “In a & b team, we accomplish c.” Is anything wrong with that? Not necessarily, but the second example certainly doesn’t tell the whole story of a woman’s accomplishments.
Are we afraid to acknowledge our own success? Are we somehow embarrassed or ashamed of accomplishments? And if so, why? Do women worry that they will come across as arrogant? Do they feel like imposters when it comes to their success? Self-promotion, when done with authenticity, is simply letting others know how we might be of service to them or others. Self-promotion is confidence in words and deeds and it is also how we grow our businesses and serve others. How can that be wrong?
Self-promotion, when done with authenticity, is letting others know how we might be of service. Click To TweetSo can I give you just a little nudge and ask you to self promote just a bit more? Can you share with others what you are good at and why they might want to either work with you, be friends with you, or introduce you to others? Can you feel confident in both your abilities and achievements and find a comfortable and honest way of saying so? The world needs you and all that you have to offer, so don’t be shy. Self promote!
Love,
Lisa Kaplin Psy. D. PCC
Once again, we are SO on the same page, Lisa. In my blog this week, I quoted a business consultant who says when women get together we connect and converse — but we don’t do deals the way men do. And our businesses stay small as a result.
Here’s my theory about these “no self-promotion” groups. In general, women aren’t comfortable selling. AND, we don’t want someone to sell to us. Because, God forbid, we might have to say “No.”
So we set up rules that protect us from an offer being made. That way, we don’t have to say no to the offer. And all of us, together, stay small.