Complaining – It’s Bad For Your Brain

Recently, I came across Jessica Stillman’s article titled “Complaining is Terrible for You, According to Science.” Honestly, I didn’t need a scientific study to tell me that complaining makes me a miserable person. I’ve run my own personal study by both trying it on my own and hanging out with others who have also tried it.

Let’s face it, complaining is easy and often feels kind of fun. If I’m complaining, I don’t have to take any responsibility for myself. I don’t have to change anything. I just have to sit around and complain. What I can tell you as a recovered complainer is that you will never actually accomplish anything and you will eventually alienate others and probably yourself.

Complaining is often a comfortable place for many of us.

Complaining is often a comfortable place for many of us. It’s what we know and what we are comfortable with. It’s safe and easy. So giving up complaining is going to be pretty uncomfortable. You are going to have to step into some space that you haven’t visited in a while and maybe don’t like so well. You will have to catch yourself complaining, intentionally stop yourself, and replace the complaining with something new.

Here’s what else might happen; Some of the people who like to hang around you because you are a complainer, might not like you anymore because you don’t complain. Complainers hang out together! When I stopped complaining, I had an old acquaintance tell me that I was fake! She had only known me as a complainer and she just couldn’t believe that I wasn’t like that anymore.

As the article referenced above will tell you, when you stop complaining, the world actually looks better. You will be seeing yourself and others through a totally new lens. Your brain will adjust to a new focus and it will rewire itself for the positive versus the negative. It’s a shock to the system, but it’s a good shock.

So if you are ready to rewire your brain, start catching yourself complaining. Do it without judgment, just catch it, notice it, and start to replace the complaining with something different. After a while, you will have reprogrammed your brain into a joy-seeking machine. This change will make you a more joyful, loveable person. Who could complain about that?

Love,

Lisa Kaplin Psy. D. PCC