Frequently, I’m asked why I’m so happy and advice for how I got here. I wasn’t always this happy. In fact, for many years I was a pretty cranky person. I got used to being cranky and it just felt comfortable to be in that space. I saw my life moving quickly and then I realized that I could be choosing happiness most of the time and in most situations. So how did I do it?
Here are three things I changed that led to the greatest shift in my feelings:
1) I caught the negative crap that I was saying to myself.
(Crap is a highly professional psychological term, okay?) It turns out I had a lot of miserable things to say to myself, about myself, and about others. Trash talking is the quickest way to make yourself miserable, unless you are Lebron James. You are then free to trash talk.
2) I started to limit (or eliminate) the amount of time I spent with really negative people.
Misery is contagious and I didn’t want to catch it anymore, so I made some relationship changes. I also asked for some changes from those I loved. I asked for them to be kinder to me and themselves, to explain to me why they were unhappy and if I could help, and to allow me to remove myself if our relationship felt too negative. Sure enough, I was happier and I was with happier people. Everyone wins!
3) I have a quick list of happiness boosters that I turn to when my mood starts to get on the negative side.
I take a walk, take a nap, put on music, call a friend, read a book, take a break, drink water, or have a snack. These quick fixes make a big difference in my mood and my level of happiness. Being aware of my own energy and feelings allows me to make the changes that I need in order to be happier and more energetic.
Once I took control of my own happiness and well being, I was able to control what I needed to do and whom I needed to be with to keep my feelings happy and my thoughts positive. Catch your thoughts, look at them and then decide if you need to change them in order to change your feelings. Pick happy, healthy people to hang out with and know how to get happy with some quick and simple fixes.
Love,
Lisa Kaplin Psy. D. PCC