When Your Team Loses

It’s a few weeks after the monumental World Series win by the Chicago Cubs. I’m a lifelong Chicagoan who has lived through year after year of Cubbies losing. It was incredible when they won after 108 years of defeat! The city was a blanket of joyful celebrations, touching stories, and peaceful revelers. Winning feels great. A good friend is a Cleveland fan so I tried to limit my celebratory talk when she was nearby. No one likes a poor winner.

A week later my favorite political team lost. My heart was broken. I couldn’t sleep and I felt as if I’d lost a loved one. My adult life has been focused on helping girls and women find equality in their personal and professional lives. Electing a female president is another lifelong dream of mine. I am like those older Cubs fans that have stayed true to their team despite loss after loss. Will I ever see Team Woman win the big prize?

I hope so, though the rhetoric and vitriol after the election leads me to realize that sexism and misogyny are alive and well in our country. There is still much work to be done. Yet like the Cubs, I get up each day and contribute in the best way I know how. I work hard, I stay focused, and I try to do as much good as I can as often as I can. Ultimately, isn’t that how teams win? The Cubs recruited young, optimistic, hard working players who also seem to be very good people. They lost last year, but they came back this year rejuvenated and with a plan to go all the way.

Recovering From a Loss

It hurts when your team loses. It’s been especially difficult because I seem to be surrounded by poor winners who are gloating over their win. Ultimately, our candidate stood strong, gracious, and unifying in her loss. I’ve tried to do the same. Isn’t that what life is all about? Getting up time and time again to try and win the moment, the day, and the game? With each loss, we can either get resentful, miserable, and defeated or we can get stronger. I’m choosing strength. I hope you are with me, even if you weren’t with her.

Do good, every day. Help others, but especially help those who need it most. Winning is doing the work and being compassionate and kind, without attachment to the result. Yes we can win the game, but lose the big game of life. Or we can win at life regardless of the final result. That’s tough for me because I want both! I want to win at life and get the World Series trophy. I’m going to focus on the joyful work of life and hope that it eventually brings Team Woman their first win. If not, I’ll be like the Cub’s lovable losers who never gave up, even after 108 losses.

Love,

Lisa Kaplin Psy. D. PCC