Why is it that women are so hesitant to tell people about their accomplishments? Is it really bragging to tell someone who is interviewing you for a job why you are qualified for that job? Is it really bragging to tell people your education accomplishments at a networking event? What exactly is the difference between bragging and confidently sharing your achievements?
The difference is actually how we say it, rather than what we say. Bragging is when we say something in a boastful manner, whereas sharing our achievements would be said in a confident manner, if done correctly. It seems that many of the women that I work with have trouble finding that confident manner and thus say nothing versus risk sounding as if they are bragging. The problem with this, of course, is they are not letting anyone know how smart, qualified, and fabulous they are.
Practice telling people what you are good at in a manner that is confident.
So what’s a woman to do? PRACTICE! Practice telling people what you are good at in a manner that is confident, but not obnoxious. Do you tell others what you do for a living or about your educational background? If someone asks, can you succinctly and confidently describe what you do either in your personal or professional life?
Finding confidence in sharing your abilities is good for you and for the people you are sharing the information with. How can you help someone if they don’t know what you are good at? How can you contribute to the world if you can’t express the skills you have? This doesn’t even have to be about your career. It can be about how you care for your family or volunteer work that you do.
It seems that women have been raised to diminish their own value.
It seems that women have been raised to diminish their own value, thus limiting themselves in so many ways. A recent study found that a man will apply for a job if he has 50% of the qualifications necessary for the position. Whereas a woman won’t apply unless she has 100% of the qualifications for that same position. Our lack of confidence can show up in a way that holds us back from moving forward at the same pace as men.
There is no doubt that long-standing sexism and misogyny that has kept women from reaching the highest corporate and public service positions. However, we can work to change that by owning it and speaking about ourselves in confident and accurate ways that include our skill sets and academic qualifications. So I want you to go write down your skills, your education, your strengths, and then practice saying them out loud as frequently as you can. Get confident in your abilities and in your ability to say so without bragging.
Let me know how you do.
Love,
Lisa Kaplin Psy. D. PCC